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The worst blogs u read everyday... just because they exist

If you know me personally, u might have noticed that i m a nice, gentle, decent and polite guy. Well, i m not. All i m is a perpetually irritable man who just can’t stand anything that’s closely related to cute, sweet and nice. I prefer to say (and mind u listen) to things in the simplest ways possible. It’s not like i don’t appreciate beauty in words, it’s just that i have already had an overdose of it. So next time u see any blog post like these, please notify me to NOT read them….


Title – The Princess Of Hearts

“..hi i am a nice little intelligent girl, i would like to write a blog about something.. but it’s just that i have no idea about what to write. So, next time i have an idea u will read about it in my constant chatter on my facebook page. Till them have a nice time sweathearts “


Title – The World Revolves Around Me

“Hey ! it’s me, the irresistible guy for all my crazy fans. I am sure you guys spent the last weekend wondering about what did i do with that empty milk can my dog picked up from the street. I was almost dying to tell u, because it was such a funny incident..”


Title – The Undeterminable Malefucian Monk

“Ya ya, u know i keep thinking a lot these days. It’s not like i have something better to do, i just thought what a wonderful place this world would be if everyone starts listening to my ideas, which are as usual philosophical and useful you know. So, if u haven’t started following me yet, the follow button is right at the top. And yes, today i m going to talk as usual about the fakie ppl who pretend to be as cool and funky as a real philosopher like i am..”


Title – My Photos.. yipppeeee

“..hi there, this is the dog that followed me home today. So i thought i would take a picture from my 0.01 MP camera and show to the whole world how cute it is. P.S. when i was taking the picture, it jumped at my camera, so all you will be able to see is it’s open mouth and the insides of it. Ain’t that greeat, it is the result of all my hardwork with the camera. Uncle says that if i keep clicking like this, i would become a hotshot wildlife photographer one day.”


Title – I am the Happy Mother

“..u know, i am such a busy woman i get only thrice a day to update u on my latest blog. It’s so cute, i can’t stop talking about it in my ‘happy nappy club’ . U gotta see the new pictures of dear cuddly. She is so sweet, she is just eight months old and whenever i give her custard she makes a ‘yum’ ‘yum’ sound on seeing the bowel ..oh my god i already have tear in my eyes. P.S.recipe attached in my previous post …just buy a ‘quick and easy custard’, boil in water and voila u are done. So easy !!!


Title – What the fuckity fuck fuck..

“My bitchiness is touching new boundaries day by day. By this post i want to draw the attention of all the people who eat strawberries in public. What the fuck bitch, dont you know i am allergic to strawberries ? What the hell do they think they are doing when they do it. I tell you, these people have no sense of fashion at all. And because i am the supreme authority in bitching about everything, i feel the compulsion to make everyone else look like an ugly dork..”



And as far as the disclaimer goes .. “All the names and excerpts on this post have been modified versions of real people’s blogs. So if you have been annoying innocent bystanders like me by your supposedly interesting stories, u r entirely wrong. We, the readers would like you to shut up, but we can’t unfollow you as we feel an obligation to follow you as all this time u have also been following my own ‘philosophical’ blog, which you found in “follow my blog and get followed within the nexxt microsecond’ forum on facebook.
No offence meant to anyone, who thinks he has been writing stupid stories comparable to the above examples. (..maybe, the resemblance is just a coincidence)

Comments

Shilpa Agarwal said…
Great piece of work macky!!! :P

I enjoyed it... :D
Mice Aliling said…
haha! brilliant! Now, let me check my blog and see where I fall under :P
its laugh aloud funny at places.....ur best one till date alongside ur 1st attempt at haiku....
Anonymous said…
hmm... some interesting blogs you are following!! Good One!!

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