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Showing posts from September, 2010

Anger Manegement and all the crap about it...

We now continue the 'tail' of our beloved Caveman Cruddy two years after his marriage with Spacewoman SveeT. To read how it all started, click here...

I guess, you know Cruddy very well by now. He was a cute little man with a long beard and a short vocabulary. But, this much of cuteness was probably not enough for his wife SveeT  who took him to an Anger Management Workshop for a small brawl that happened like this..

CavemanCruddy: Aaaarghh !! The world is end today ! Cruddy's hunting knife ran away somewhere.

SpacewomanSveeT: You hell of a man. Your knife was dirty. I cleaned it with Dettol. It is now drying in the sun outside. Will you please mind keeping the cave hygeinic ? What do you think the kids are going to learn from it ??

Cruddy: That my good knife ! You hide it ? Next time, keep back it where at it right place is !

SveeT: And will you please mind telling me where is it's right place you bastard ? It was lying in a corner of the cave. I thought you had throw…

What a medical teacher takes years to learn...

PG resident: Ok boy, now you tell me " What is Wohlfart-Kugelberg-Welander syndrome ? "

Mack: Sir it is a very rare disorder characterized by ...xxxxx

PG resident: Excellent ! You will be a nice dctor one day..
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Assistant Professor: Tell me the new advancements in the field of malaria diagnosis.

Mack: Uhh, sir it is diagnosed mainly by microscopic observation.

Assistant Professor: That's nice to hear, but you should actually keep your eyes open for the latest research also.
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Professor: Tell me the importance of taking pulse and what can you diagnose from it ?

Mack: Sir pulse... pulse is the.. the feeling of heart beat in the extremities of..

Professor: It's high time that you start reading your textbooks son. You will never succeed till you make it a habit.
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Dean: What do you understand by fever ?

Mack: Uhh, sir raised body temperature..

Dean: Even the cleaning staff outside my office can tell me that. Next time i want something that a real me…

When do you know your doctor is making a fool of you ?

This one happened during my surgery rotation. A major (read: PG resident, as ours is a military college) sent a patient for testing blood sugar after the OPD consultation. She came back with the report after half an hour…

Mrs.Fatlady: Doctor saab, here is the report. Please tell me if something is serious.

Maj.Clinicwala: Dont worry aunty, your report is all normal.

MrsFatlady: So?

Maj.Clinicwala: So, take the medicines i have written earlier and you will be fine.

MrsFatlady: I came from such a long distance and you say my report is fine ! You wasted my time and you knew nothing is wrong with me. You are a bad bad doctor.

Mack: Sir, just give her sugar pills.

MajClinicwala: You should be happy mam, you are all right.

MrsFatlady: But atleast give me something. I am standing for half an hour outside just to show this report. And you say i dont need medicine. I will never come to a free hospital again !

MajClinicwala: Just go away mam. You are wasting my time.

MrsFatlady: I will complaint to you…

Men from Mars, Women from Venus ! : How it all started ?

This is a long ‘tail’ from long time ago. There used to be no tailless species of mammals on earth then. Suddenly one day, a venusian spaceship zapped across the evening sky. It’s long colourful body shone in the usual weird way that UFOs are supposed to behave even though it was thousands of years ago. It grazed past a dino munching on the topmost branches of a palm tree, and almost hit it in the ear. The ship stopped midair (Thank God, pileups were not so common those days !) and a pilot waved out from the window and yelled at the dino for standing right in the middle of nowhere. Leaving behind the dino with a stupid look in the eyes, it passed on and landed on the top of a pine tree after three hours of thoughtful calculations (though it toppled over the ground almost immediately). A beautiful looking pilot stepped out of the ship with careful steps (so as not to mess up her make-up). She wandered around for some time, admiring the new environment around her, and noting things very…

Clinical History of a Facebook Addict….

This post is the one inspired from the thing we med students do most of the time in our hospital, that is taking the history of a patient.. :)
Patient Name: Coolguy287
Age: 24 yrs
Sex: Male
Residence: East street cyber cafe, Pune
Occupation: Student
Informant: His FB profile
Reliability: God knows


P/C (that means.. Presenting Complaints):
Acute attacks of logging into FB wherever and whenever possible X 6 months


HOPI (History of Presenting Illness):
My patient was apparently asymptomatic till 6 months back when he reported acute attacks of FB overuse which were insidious in onset and gradual in progression. They were characterized by episodes of long lasting chat sessions, which were generally relieved by the cafe owner requesting to shut down the shop. The episodes were of remitting and relapsing in nature, with intermediate lucid intervals in which he remembered to go home and have meals. He also gives history of certain associated symptoms, which are described in detail below.

The paroxysms of…